I’ve been running
I’ve been running
My whole life
I’ve been running
In circles and triangles and straight lines
In spirals and rectangles that don’t rhyme
Nor punctuate in time
To the beat
Of my heart
I’ve been running
Trying to get away
From a body that only knows how to stay
In this broken paradigm
Of sadness and madness
And bad times
I’ve been running
Over hills, past rocky mountains, through vast desert plains
All beneath a cavernous earthly embrace
Along swirling rapids
Splashing upstream
Smashing my fists into the tides that carry me to the unknown
Watching the ripples move out to lives I’ll never sew
I’ve been running
And the black shadows that reach from the ground
Catch my ankles as I run
Trying to pull me down
Into their depths
I’ve been running
I’ve been running so hard I forgot to watch my youth disappear
I’ve been running so hard I forgot to see my maiden in the reflection before she fell to fear
I’ve been running so hard the mother shot straight past me and fell aside
Out of the race
Laid to waste
With never a taste
Beyond the bloody empty womb
I’ve been running
So fast I forgot to breathe beyond my dreams
So fast I forgot to sit within these realms
So fast the crone is the only face that lies in wait
Watching my ever slowing gait
As I near that final embrace
To the deepest knowing
Surrender to her blackened wings
Angels cry
Angels sing
I’ve been running
So fast I’ve been running
And this little girl inside
Tugs at my wrist
She tugs at my wrist
She longs in my eyes to see her
Still fresh and boundless with the energy of bliss
The innocence of innocence
The glistening eyes of one who refuses to give up
I was running
So fast I nearly missed her
So fast I nearly ran straight over her heart
While she froze in hope, and longed to be held
I was running for so long
So afraid to look back and see
That dear devil chasing me
Was the eternal blackened mist of my own shadows upon my tail
Dragging me down
Into my depths
I was running so fast
That I forgot to breathe the very essence of me
I forgot to be still
I forgot to be still
I was running
But I never knew where to
Now I think that it was not where but when
For I was running forever into this now
And I was running so fast I almost didn’t see
The child I was always birthing
Was me
Written by Tjoni Johansen.
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